Awesome. 3.

I wish things were different. I wish I could have who I wanted and I wish that the people who want me, wouldn't. There are 3 of you in mind. #1 I really just need you to stop. I need you to leave me alone. I need you to realize that you are being selfish, I wish you would see that I am finally happy. Just stop fighting for me. I hate that I'm hurting you. Just be who you were when you left me. Don't care about me. #2 I love you. So much. Just not the way that you love me. You are my best friend, you're perfect. You know me better than anyone. You are the person i am most afraid of losing. I'm sorry I can't reciprocate the feeling you have for me. I'm sorry for who i am. I'm sorry for not being able to be in love with you when I know I should be. I know you want to make me happy, but we can't have a relationship for several reasons. One of which I cannot change, and you have no idea how i wish i could. And finally #3 I think about you more than i want to. And this isn't recent. I used to wonder what things would be like if this happened, and now that it has, I'm trying very hard not to get disappointed. You remind me, so much, of #1 and that makes me dislike this situation. But there is something about you that I just... Idk. I'm trying really hard to stay neutral in this situation because I don't know what the fuck you want from me. I have a strong feeling that you're just using me. You don't have feelings for me. You just want the experience. I can do that if I knew that's all you wanted, but then you say something that completely changes that. Just tell me what to do. Someone tell me what to do. Someone help me stop caring so much. All of you. #1 , #2 , and #3. What exactly do you all want from me? Please just fucking tell me.