Normal.

I want a normal relationship. I want someone I can see on the weekends, and spend time with after classes. Someone who will come visit me at work, and help me study. I want someone whose house I can go to when I don't want to be at mine. I want someone I can date, and make plans to eventually move in with, without it involving me to move across the country or overseas. I want to date someone who lives in the same town as me. It's been a year since you've been here, and in that year you've only been able to start coming home since May, That's nine months of a visit every now and then. I just want to date someone I can see, and someone who will tell me they miss me, and I can just go over to their house to see them so they won't miss me anymore. And more than anything, I want to have a relationship with someone where we don't rely on our goddamn cell phones. I want a normal college relationship. I want an apartment with you, I want to cook for you, rent movies with you, I want to sleep next to you, I want to wake up and see you. I want to kiss you good morning, and goodbye knowing that it's only for a few hours, not for a possible few months. I love you, but I hate this. I hate that we can never have that, I mean I guess we can, in another country, but I'm only 18. Do I really want to live overseas? Do I really want to learn another language? Am I even capable of that?

For now, I am going to be okay with you not being here, I've kind of gotten used to it. And we only live once right? I'm a photographer, it would be an awesome experience to spend my time in Italy or someplace just taking pictures. How many people can say that they lived in Italy for a year or two?

What am I going to do? I don't know, but in a year if we're still together, I know I'm going to have to say goodbye to a lot of people, and learn a new language. And if that doesn't show you that I love you, I don't know what will. You think you've given up things for me, but can you not see what I have given up for you? I could date someone here, and have everything I want. I could live with them, and spend time at their house. But I don't want them. I want you.

I wish we would forget all of the reasons why we won't work, and just start believing the one reason why it will.