Toogie.

Dad and I have called you that since you were a baby. I haven't used that nickname in a while. I guess I feel really distant from you. We're different people, you're 13 and I'm 19 which isn't necessarily a huge gap, but we have virtually nothing in common beside sharing the same parents.

I've wanted to tell you something for a long time now.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for not being a good older sister. I'm sorry for not being the ideal big sister that you can come to for anything. I know you have a lot stuff that you're going through, and a lot of stuff you have gone though. And I apologize for not caring as much as I should.

Also, i'm sorry for the negative affect I've had on your life for being different. I was naive to think that me being gay only affected my life. I realize now, it affects the lives of those closest to me. I know some of your friends have found out, and have stopped being your friend because of it. And I know that mom hides it from the men she dates, for fear of them leaving.

I never expected my life to negatively affect yours. I'm sorry.